Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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