i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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