My balls are so social today.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
