We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
