I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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