and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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