Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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