THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
