then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
