PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
