Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
