I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
