just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
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