You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
It's never too late to be topless.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
