He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
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