i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
