i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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