and you said cock pushups were impossible
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
