Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
