good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
