He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
