Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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