I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
