she told me i tasted like america
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
