i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
