i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
