Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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