I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
She announced her abortion via fbk
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
