I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Randomize
