Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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