If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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