I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
