It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
