Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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