McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Randomize
