I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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