so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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