At least make sure they are 18
Why
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
