This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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