Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
