Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
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