I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
