K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Randomize
