and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
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