Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize