I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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