Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
