Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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