my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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