I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
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